The LA Rulebook

There should be a rule book for people living in Los Angeles. I've lived my entire life here, and I find that I still make horrific faux pas in the most embarrassing ways. This book should be offered at all LA book stores, and it should cover behavior, LA-speak, personal facades, and the LA club scene. Every page should expound on dos and don'ts of the city. Why? Because there's no city like LA, and there are no people groups like Los Angelenos. The kind of eccentricities and embarrassing scenarios one encounters here can't be learned intuitively anywhere else. The reason is obvious: no other city has Hollywood. Yes, Hollywood. Breeder of fame, fortune, and political power.

As you know, it's not uncommon to see the odd celebrity doing mundane tasks around town. We're nearly used to it...or at least we play it off like we are. You know the LA drill. Don't stare, take a picture secretly and go one with your life. That's all well and good unless you don't know they're famous.

Cut to: Mark Edward Lewis sitting in a cafe in Burbank that he's never been to. In walks an exotic brunette with short hair, spaghetti strap top, bright blue eyes and a saunter four feet wide.

Cut to reversal: Mark is doing everything wrong. He's staring at her, not because she's so striking, but because he thinks he knows her. He's so sure of it, that when this babe looks back at him, he doesn't flinch. He's sure she'll recognize him. Her frown, her wince and her look of "in your dreams, buddy" doesn't phase him. He leaves his stool and ambles in her direction. Four feet from his fingers tapping her bare shoulder, Mark has a flicker of a memory.

Cut to Flashback: His living room, a television, late night channel surfing, seeing her chiseled body smashing thugs wearing black. The bumper before commercial reads: "VIP." Back to cafe and a medium shot of Mark's hand inches away. He yanks his hand back as though from a snake. His face turns shades of red, and he slinks back to his stool muttering hindu grace. No, he doesn't know her. He had simply channel surfed onto one of television's most exploitative and sexist shows. He's ashamed he even knows this woman's face at all, but he's relieved that he didn't make a fool of himself and repeat the most used celebrity face-slap pick-up line in the LA club scene: "Hi. I think I know you from somewhere." Ugh.

Yes, it was Natalie Raitano. Yes, it really happened. No, I didn't get her number. The lesson: if you think you know someone in LA (and they're gorgeous), it's okay to cross into their line of sight so they see you, but honestly, they don't know you. Making this mistake with a network television star is relatively harmless compared to the more incriminating scenarios you could find yourself in...

Wine Tasting for the Average Joe

Going to a wine tasting can be a very fun and enjoyable experience. However, many people do not attend for fear of not knowing exactly how to act or what to do. There no great mystery to wine tastings, just a few things you should remember.

As far as etiquette, usually the ladies are served before the gentlemen. Some wine tastings offer you bottled water. Use this to rinse out your mouth between tastings so your palate is clean for the next wine. There is often unsalted and unflavored crackers and bread to help palate cleansing as well. You should always handle the wine glass by the stem. This helps avoid heating the wine with the warmth of your hands, thus altering the taste. Avoid wearing strong perfumes and colognes to a wine tasting. That may take away from not only your smell, but also that of the other guests. Also, avoid smoking, gum, and mints before and during a wine tasting to be able to enjoy the full flavor of the wine.

You can tell a lot about a wine just by looking at its color. When you attend a wine tasting, the glasses should always be clear so you can get a good look at the wine. The tables may also be covered with white tablecloths to help you see the wine's color clearly. Do not let the wine name full you. For example, white wines are not white in color. They may range from yellow to green to brown. Red wines range in color from pale red to a deep brownish red and often become lighter with age. Sometimes the color of a wine may indicate age or flavor. You may be able to tell the age of a red wine by doing a rim test. Tilt the glass slightly towards the rim of the wine glass and look at the wine. If the color of the red wine is more of a purple, it is usually a younger wine. If the color of the red wine is brown, it is an older wine.

Another thing you may have seen people do before they taste wine is swirl it slightly in the glass. This is to help open up the wine's flavor. Remember that the wine may have been in a bottle anywhere from six months to many, many years. When someone swirls a wine, it helps release the flavors. Just like when you're cooking at home and stir the food to help blend the flavors.

The color of the wine is just one aspect you will want to look at when you attend a wine tasting. You will also want to smell the wine. After swirling, this is the next step in the tasting process. You have probably seen people smell wine before and wondered why they did it. Smell plays a very important part in what we taste. Researchers have determined that perhaps as much as 75% of what we taste is actually based on what we smell first. You can smell your wine one of two ways: taking a small whiff to get an idea of how the wine smells, then a deeper whiff or take one deep whiff. After smelling the wine, take a minute to think about the smell. You do not want to immediately taste it after smelling but give yourself time to explore exactly what you smelled.

Finally, you will need to know is how to taste the wine properly. Your tongue has taste buds in both the front and back. These taste buds can detect bitter, salty, sweet, and sour flavors, but some are more sensitive than others are. There are three steps in tasting a wine: the first impression, the taste, and the aftertaste. The first impression happens when you take your first drink and the wine actually hits your taste buds. It should awaken your sense to the wine. After taking the first drink, you should swish the wine around your mouth for a few seconds to let all your taste buds discover the full flavor of the wine. Think about what the wine tastes like. Is it light or heavy? Is the smooth or harsh? The aftertaste is the sensation that remains in your mouth after swallowing the wine. How long did it last and was it pleasant?

Before attending a wine tasting, it may help you feel more confident to read about the different types of wines. This will give you a better idea of what to look for as far as flavor and taste. Next time you are invited to a wine tasting; do not be afraid to go. You may be missing a great experience!

Queens and Crescents - Book Review

What certainly stood out for me in Barry Southers novel, Queens and Crescents, was his strong and deep feelings for his family that Barry made apparent in the dedication for this book. The love and appreciation he shares here is actually quite touching. The introduction does a good job of setting up the book through a discussion of happiness and success in today's society.

Readers will find plenty of action and suspense in this murder romance novel. The main character here is Sean Martinez, a 28-year-old divorcee who works a mundane position in a mortgage broker firm. For Sean, life is just one day blending into the next. He just could not get over his wife leaving three years ago with her old lover. If there were a need for an example of a man in dire need of a vacation, Sean would be chosen.

Spurred on by a radio commercial one excruciatingly hot day, Sean's vacation destination is decided for him. There, he finds true love, fascinating passion and discovers the power of intuition and fate. Cruel crime lords fighting for position, bloodcurdling hired killers and a heavy loss bring Sean back into living life for what it is.

I was impressed with Barry's writing style because I could really picture the scenes in my head. I felt he delved deeply into the psyche of his characters, making them seem much more real than many authors are able to do. Queens and Crescents may take readers only a day or two to read, but the characters will remain alive in their minds for a number of days.

Author: Barry Southers Publisher: Publish America

Mind Power: Turning Wishes Into Reality

I was recently asked about wishes, and how much affect the the human mind has on wishes coming true.

Knowing the origination of all wishes is in our individual mind, I would have to say the human mind has everything to do with making wishes come true.

Your thoughts are uniquely yours. Your wishes are not conceived by anyone else's mind. You may have been influenced by some external idea, but you are responsible for your wishes, whether you acknowledge the fact. Your thoughts are formed by experiences and needs that no one else could not possibly know.

Do you believe you have enough control of your mind to make your wishes reality?

Your answer to that same question will show you something about yourself and your beliefs about the power of the human brain. It will also affect your ability to transform your dreams into reality.

Does it take faith to turn wishes into reality? Yes. Faith is the energy that transforms the unseen to the seen

What is the secret to turning wishes into reality? Thoughts, mixed with the energy of faith, are transformed into their material equivalents. Simply put, whatever the mind can conceive and believe the mind can create.

Translating a wish into reality is not a matter of relying on an outside party to do the work. There is no fairy godmother; there is no genie; there is no wizard; there is only you and the power of your mind.

Ellen has a very active imagination. "I am constantly amazed by the images that the brain can construct", she told me during our conversation at a local coffee shop.

"Do you believe that the mind can be used to turn wishes into reality?" I asked her.

"Yes, it can," was her reply. She looked at me with a serious expression. " I have had many wishes come true."

"Some people would say that your fulfilled wishes are just coincidences," I countered.

"Regardless, the wishes came true."

I took a sip of coffee and thought about her reply. I could not prove that what she called a fulfilled wish was a result of her mind power. It was enough that she believed in her ability to make wishes come true. She took full responsibility for her wishes. Besides, using the coincidence argument is a way for skeptics to dismiss a phenomenon without having to go to the trouble of refuting it with facts.

"What about your unfulfilled wishes?" I asked her. " You have not been 100 percent successful. Doesn't that mean that you were just in the right place at the right time when the other wishes came to pass?" Are they evidence that wishes are mere fantasies that reside only in the mind of the wisher?

"Is what someone might consider unanswered prayer evidence that God does not exist?"

I began to think about my own ability to make my wishes come true.

What is the missing element that makes some wishes come true and others that don't materialize? Here are a few suggestions that Ellen gave me.

Do not make idle wishes. Respect the power of fulfilled wishes. A frivolous wish is a sign that you don't believe; that you don't expect the wish to come true. If all your wishes come true, then you have a responsibility to be careful what you wish for. Be specific. Many times people form a wish an their mind but their mind is not able to clothe the wish in details. "I want to be rich," is a mere generality. Turn the wish into a desire by infusing it with emotion. Visualize the wish. Once the details are know it is easy to begin to see it. Put your wish into exact words. Put these words in writing and speak them everyday. Keep a diary to keep a record of what you do and how you do it. Dating your activity is a way of keeping a historical record. It is your evidence that wishes do come true.

Ways to Cope With Bereavement

Most traumas, including the death of a spouse are potentially shattering experiences. These events can disrupt the survivor's social, emotional, and cognitive worlds. Although there has been frequent mention in the literature that traumatic situations cause people to talk about their experiences most evidence has been anecdotal. When someone within a social network dies, members of the network are naturally drawn together. During the grieving period especially within the first few days or weeks the survivors socially share their emotions and memories with each other.

Many of the discussion topics surround the individual who died, of course, but funerals and grieving rituals often include the social sharing of other personal and family histories. Although researched conducted to date has not found compelling evidence that social sharing leads to emotional recovery, our data suggested that it may serve several other important cognitive, psychological, and social functions.

Analysis and Recommendations for Steps to Handle The Loss of a Spouse in the First Year. The roles we have within our social networks are not often discussed or clearly defined. One of the ironies of having a spouse die is that we openly discuss the person, our feelings about him or her, and become conscious of that person's influence on us. As far as it applies to bereavement, the death of a loved one generally introduces chaos in people's personal universe, which may end up in denial and in alteration of the sense of reality. When bereaved individuals socially share the loss of a loved one, the contribution helps to give both the death itself and its consequences more reality.

A widow has to go through a lot when her spouse dies especially when she is very young. The death of spouse very often challenges our beliefs of a coherent, predictable, and controllable world. The overwhelming emotions which result from such challenges often drive individuals into a state of cognitive business. They slip into a cycle of ruminative thinking trying unsuccessfully to figure it all out. Based on research, it is hypothesized that social sharing helps to undermine this cognitive business cycle. This leads to predict that emotional memories that were not shared would be associated with higher cognitive needs than emotional memories that were shared. This function of social sharing is also very relevant in the context of bereavement.

Experiencing the death of a spouse, often shatters people's basic beliefs that they live in an orderly, understandable, and meaningful world. As a result, individuals frequently search for some meaning or try to make sense out of their negative experiences. Finding meaning in the loss of spouse is thought to be one way for dealing with and adjusting to the event. Through the use of social sharing, people can contribute to give both the death itself and its consequences more sense and meaning.

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References:

Stroebe, W., Stroebe, M., Schut, H., Zech, E., & van den Bout, J. (1997, June). Must we give sorrow words? Paper presented at the Third International Conference on Grief and Bereavement in Contemporary Society, Washington, DC.

Watson, D., & Pennebaker, J. W. (1989). Health complaints, stress, and distress: Exploring the central role of negative affectivity. Psychological Review, 2, 234-254.

Wortman, C. B., & Silver, R. C. (1989). The myths of coping with loss. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 57, 349-357.

The California Water Crisis: How You Can Help the State Quench Its Thirst

California is one of the most heavily populated regions in the United States, and requires a tremendous amount of water. Unfortunately, most of California is arid, with little in the way of local water resources. Los Angeles and the farms of the Inland Empire are sustained with water that is imported, whether it is from distant snow packs or the Colorado River. Unfortunately, the California water crisis has demonstrated that the demand for clean water is rapidly out pacing available supplies.

The Rise of Demand in California

As California has continued to grow, the demand for potable water has radically increased. This is not simply for drinking, as industry, farming, and recreation all require vast amounts of H2O. Lush and green golf courses, gardens and landscapes all demand extensive watering, especially when they use plants that are not native to California's arid conditions.

In terms of the use of H2O, while the total percentages have varied depending on the analyzing authority and date, the following is a rough approximation of overall H2O use in California:

• H2O Utilized for Industrial purposes: 33 percent. • H2O utilized for residential purposes, including gardens and internal use: 39 percent. • H2O utilized for agriculture purposes, including crops and livestock: 28 percent.

However, the over all supply of water has remained relatively static and is even declining as California's population increases. For example, snow pack levels have consistently been lower than predicted, which in turn reduces the amount of water available from runoff. More importantly, increasing population growth in other Southwestern states has reduced the amount of surplus Colorado River water available for California's use, aggravating the California water crisis.

Smart Water Use and Beating the Crisis

With the inability to increase supply, California must reduce its demand, especially in the face of a growing urban and rural population. The most effective way this can be achieved is by the use of various water conservation strategies in order to meet the California water crisis head-on.

These techniques can include the following:

• Using native Californian plants to reduce H2O usage for landscaping. • Replacing older plumbing systems with modern efficient toilets, showers and washing machines. • Watering lawns at dusk and nighttime rather than watering them during the day. • Minimizing the use of H2O for unnecessary purposes such as washing cars or driveways.

Creating a Sustainable Water Use Policy

By avoiding the overuse of water, Californians can beat the California water crisis and ensure that the state retains sufficient reserves for its current and future needs. Creating a sustainable strategy for water usage and securing the state's future is a mission that requires the assistance of every California citizen.

Want to Build a Cheap Shed?

How is it done, to build a cheap shed? That is when you have found the exact right plans that you can follow to build a shed in your own backyard for whatever purpose you happen to need the shed for. Whether you need storage, a place to get out of the weather, a place to cool down or a place to work on equipment, that is what your shed is for.

If you are wanting to build a cheap shed, and by cheap, I don't mean poorly put together, but rather low cost, but still built well enough to withstand the weather and elements. When you start thinking of how you will want your shed designed, you need to search and explore different ideas and plans, so that you can get the layout and floor plan just right. Also the size of your shed is important.

People with different ideas of what works for them, you need to listen to and read about, as they may have just what you want, but you may not have even thought of yet. If you wait until the shed is built, then the amount of space may not be what is required to do your job well and efficiently. I feel the more ideas and input you have from different sources and many plans and blueprints to study and look at, the less likely you are to build a cheap shed, that may not be as functional as it should be.

All in all, what it is to build a cheap shed, maybe just exactly what you want.

What's Your Story? (Part 1 in a Series of Yet-to-be-Determined Length)

A friend's daughter asked me the other day what it was that I did for a living.

Given that she is 7 years old, my usual answer, "I own and run my own marketing communications agency," wasn't cutting it.

I could tell by the blank stare I got in return for that answer.

Considering my audience, trying again I said, "I help companies market their products and services so they can sell stuff and make money."

Better - she seemed to be considering that.

"So how do you do that?" she asks.

"I create websites and brochures, I write direct mail packages and newsletters and I help my clients get these things in front of their new customers," I said.

"So that's all you have to do to get people to buy stuff?" she asked me.

"Well, no," I said. "It's more than just the brochures and websites and stuff."

"So what do you really have to do then?" she asked.

And about this time I was wondering if all 7 year olds were this curious. I looked pleadingly to her mom, and all I got from her in return was a shrug and her reply, "welcome to my world."

"You have to put a whole integrated campaign together so that everything makes sense. You have to make sure everything is consistent with the image of the company you're promoting. You have to tell the customer a story," I answered.

"You tell stories for a living?" she asked, obviously amazed.

And I realized it was true. "Yep," I said. "That's what I do. I tell my customer's stories to their customers. That, in a nutshell, is what marketing's all about."

"Cool!" she answered.

Of course, marketers didn't invent storytelling - we just perfected an art that has been around since time began.

As humans, we're all looking for ways to explain the world we see. Early humans noticed things in their environment and invented stories to help understand them.

The sun rising in the East was the "Great Sun God" smiling upon them. Sickness was a curse brought on by any number of transgressions, and rain could be summoned by dancing in circles.

We've progressed (some) since that time. But we still all rely on stories every day to explain the world around us. We tell stories to each other, and we tell stories to ourselves.

And because we are used to telling stories to each other, as consumers we expect and demand that marketers tell stories to us about the products and services they promote.

Some marketers tell great stories, and some are pretty bad. But here's the catch - no matter how great the story is, if the product or service experience isn't consistent with the story, consumers will turn on you like month-old milk.

Apple Computer is a company who tells a masterful story. It's the key to their success and cult-like customer following.

The famous "1984" ad - which aired only once during the Super Bowl in 1983 convinced legions of the faithful that using a Mac was akin to fighting George Orwell's "big brother" and everything evil that he stood for. Their "Think Different" campaign - and every bit of marketing they do reinforces that story.

The fact that Apple makes beautiful, innovative products and cutting-edge software supports the story they tell us. (And yes, it's obvious that I've bought their story!)

On the other hand - remember the campaign, "This is Not Your Father's Oldsmobile"? Great story. Oldsmobile had an image problem - their cars were for "old folks" - so to combat that image they created a campaign aimed right at the heart of the matter.

Too bad the product development people didn't get the message. The campaign was a miserable failure and Oldsmobile went out of business because the cars really were still "your father's Oldsmobile." A story told to a consumer that isn't consistent with the product experience is a story better left untold.

So - what's your story?

What promise does your story make to your customers - and is that promise upheld by their experiences with your products or services? If it is, consumers will trust you, and they'll listen to your story indefinitely.

© Copyright 2006

Event Professionals Manage Details

While organizations are generally concerned only with the results, most leaders fail to realize the amount of details that must be analyzed, managed, and overseen, if an event is to come out effectively. Recently I celebrated my birthday during one of the conferences I was working with, and the hotel's management staff presented me with a gift of a lovely flask, engraved, "The Ultimate Backup Plan." This was a humorous reference to my constant insistence that there be multiple contingency plans to cover any foreseeable eventuality, and while always hoping for the preferred plan to be all that was necessary, being prepared for just about anything.

Professional event planners and managers realize that sometimes something does not work out as expected. Obviously, certain things, such as weather are uncontrollable, and so contingencies must be in place in advance for any weather. Many untrained individuals think only of rain as a weather concern, but I have also been involved when unseasonably cold or windy weather occurred. A professional will make sure that large outside "heaters" are available and plentiful in supply, so that any area that attendees might be exposed to, is as comfortable as possible. Professionals never leave things like this to chance, but list variable "fallbacks" that the hotel must provide in case of inclement weather.

How often have you attended a conference or convention when the elevators were extremely crowded during certain "crush" hours? It is important to contractually have in place the availability and usage of some sort of elevator override system, to minimize the inconvenience.

One of the greatest financial issues that face most organizations is properly guaranteeing numbers, so as not to either underestimate or overestimate the number attending functions involving food and beverage. Minimizing the "breakage," or the amount of meals the organization pays for that go unused, often amounts to a major factor between whether a conference succeeds or fails from a financial perspective.

An event professional must be an expert negotiator, as well. One of the most trying circumstances for a conference/ convention planner is when he is not the original negotiator of the contract, and often finds himself burdened by conditions and situations that are far less than optimal. I always advise that once an organization determines they will use the services of a professional, they should take advantage of his expertise and experience, and put him and the organization in the best possible scenario for success.

There are so many details involved in properly running an event. Neglect of considering even one detail, even if it might seem small and perhaps insignificant, can often cause irreversible harm. After having planned and overseen hundreds of events in the past three plus decades, while details may be tedious, if left unmanaged, can often become critical.